When I turned 38, I’d officially been a mom longer in my life than I hadn’t. That was a weird realization – that the majority of my life, I’d been thinking about at least one other human in a vulnerable/inexplicable way that made me feel both complete and incompetent. 

In this vein of humility, lie stories of humor and humanity that needed a platform to reside. So in 2015 I began this little blog and started writing about the defenseless side of parenting – especially in regard to being a single mom and what it was like being a parent to a child with Tourette’s and ADHD. People from all over the world write to tell me they needed to hear it which has encouraged me. ️

I honor my ever-evolving relationship with motherhood. I know down to my bones that regardless of any self-serving tasks I justify each day (like my career) that those babies (big and small) had me at “I see a head!” Even before that. They had me from the moment I felt them wiggling inside my belly while rocking in a quiet/empty nursery. It doesn’t elude me how fortunate I am to have them. 

I often shrink inward at the utter shock and gratitude that I mean so much to four other humans…because I’m their mom. 

Although I just really do suck on some days (with cuss words in tow), I know that I’m a good one. 

I teach them to love humans (especially themselves) no matter what. If they can love their life, their body, and their own person, loving other humans without judgment will come with ease. We listen to music, play piano and read everyday –  that’s something! 

I’ve taught my kids that for whatever reason, we are privileged and that most people on this planet have way less than we do. I show them, and we greet others face to face. 

I try to give in and laugh when things feel really hard and heavy, and when I do, they follow suit. They rely on me so much…even for their own emotions at times. It’s a lot of pressure, but they always forgive me when I fail them because I genuinely apologize to them when I do. 

The raw beauty of motherhood is a big part of me, but I’m a lot more than that, too. 

They know this, and they witness my struggle with that balance. They cheer for me, and they pick me up when I need help. They see me fighting for my own individuality and space, my marriage with their great daddy, our family, and our community/world. I want them to know they mustn’t ever settle. Have fun, and be present, but the work and the learning is never done. 

These memoirs are some funny, some heavy, some sweet…they make up little snippets of my life here in the patch. (The patch is my hometown in the heartland of this country) 

I hope you enjoy 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s